Some words I love Monday, April 28, 2008

This has been sitting on draft for ages, but here goes. I think I originally thought I’d keep it there until I had a really long list to post all at once, but I think it’ll probably work better for me to just post words when I think of them and use a tag to keep them altogether. So here I am starting with some particularly inventive French words I’ve come across that I rather like:

internaute - an internet user, but playing on the whole astronaut idea.

agroglyphe - a crop circle, using the hieroglyphic model

choixpeau - not really a word, but I think the single best thing the French Harry Potter translator has ever come up with. Merging the words for hat and choice in a supremely satisfying translation of “the sorting hat”.

in which my shuffle somehow means something profound Tuesday, November 20, 2007

OK, I admit it, I’m stealing an idea from Cliff, but here goes nothing…

Right then, my iPod (well, I’m indoors so I’m actually using iTunes, since I spend long enough in my headphones anyway, but same difference) is on shuffle, I’m ready. Twenty-five first lines and (alleged) profundity, here we come.

Rules - the whole library is on shuffle, I will post the first lines of the first 25 tracks to come up (although I reserve the right to skip on from ones that aren’t music or ones that have no lyrics, otherwise that’d be silly. Oh, and perhaps I ought to skip on from ones in other languages too, otherwise this will be incoherent, or at least a little too surreal for my liking). Let’s see what this throws up…

1 - Music, when soft voices die, vibrates in the memory

2 - Underground I’m waiting, just below the crowded avenue, watching red lights fading out of view

3 - Never know how much I love you, never know how much I care

4 - Here I stand victorious, the only man who made you come

5 - I’m on a mission to abuse my position, abuse it with you

6 - Together, midnight in summer, the air’s so much warmer

7 - On a day like today, we pass the time away writing love letters in the sand

8 - Hide your heart from sight, lock your dreams at night, it could happen to you

9 - Hit it, nah, na na na nah, na na na nah, na na nah, na na nah, na na na nah

10 - In love no belief I never found inside of me

11 - Oh, is there not one maiden breast which does not feel the moral beauty

12 - Sure I know you’d like to have me talk about my future

13 - I’ve been really tryin’, baby, tryin’ to hold back these feelings for so long

14 - People get ready, there’s a train a comin’

15 - Not that you’re good, it’s not that you’re bad

16 - I just want to feel safe in my own skin

17 - My tea’s gone cold, I’m wondering why I got out of bed at all

18 - Next year, things are gonna change, gonna drink less beer and start all over again

19 - Another summer day has come and gone away in Paris and Rome

20 - Paint a picture, clear cut and pale on a cold London day

21 - Two jumps in a week, bet you think that’s pretty clever don’t you, boy

22 - Do you not hear me anymore, I know it’s not your thing to care

23 - Don’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me

24 - Oh men of dark and dismal fate, forego your cruel employ

25 - Pay for the light, but you may still slide

Ok then, what have I learned? That I have too many songs in my iTunes library since a random selection of 25 can throw up several I’m sure I have never listened to before, as well as some I haven’t heard in years. That it appears to be the middle of the summer (brr). That iTunes seems to like Robbie Williams and Dido in a freakishly disproportionate and seemingly unrandom manner. And not quite as freakishly, but still disproportionate, the Pirates of Penzance. And Jamie Cullum, although if I’m honest, that’s not quite so disproportionate… *ahem*. I think I’ve definitely learned that Ini Kamoze really isn’t all that profound. And that Britney Spears really has no grasp of English grammar.

If I am to regard this as an exercise in fortune-telling, I probably ought to be pouring my heart out in order to find myself a soulmate? Or having some kind of existential crisis. Or dying of loneliness under a tree. Oh good…

It looked promising at the start, almost as though it could become some kind of coherent and beautiful poem, but alas Robbie came along and rather wrecked that fairly early on. Still, even so, there were some rather pleasant couplets, iTunes at times seemed to be trying its best, bless it.

I rather like shuffling, I haven’t done it in a while. I think I might do it a bit more often again.

The songs were:

(1) To… - Geoff Gascoyne feat. Jamie Cullum, (2) Above Ground - Norah Jones, (3) Fever - Gwyneth Herbert, (4) Ghosts - Robbie Williams, (5) A Place To Crash - Robbie Williams, (6) I Won’t Leave You Lonely - Shania Twain, (7) Love Letters In The Sand - Pat Boone, (8 ) It Could Happen To You - Diana Krall, (9) Here Comes The Hotstepper - Ini Kamoze, (10) That’s Where You Take Me - Britney Spears, (11) Oh, Is There Not One Maiden Breast - Gilbert & Sullivan (Pirates of Penzance), (12) But For Now - Jamie Cullum, (13) Let’s Get It On - Marvin Gaye, (14) People Get Ready - The Impressions, (15) Deep Blue Sea - Eden Burning, (16) Honestly OK - Dido, (17) Thank You - Dido, (18 ) Next Year, Baby - Jamie Cullum, (19) Home - Michael Buble, (20) London Skies - Jamie Cullum, (21) High & Dry - Jamie Cullum, (22) The Battle Of Who Could Care Less - Ben Folds Five, (23) Don’t Sit Under The Apple Tree - Glenn Miller, (24) Oh, Men Of Dark And Dismal Fate - Gilbert & Sullivan (Pirates of Penzance), (25) Donna & Blitzen - Badly Drawn Boy

The city of Geneva marks my birthday Thursday, September 20, 2007

As I mentioned, there were fireworks on my birthday this year. As I’m in posting mode, I thought I’d share. This is the finale of the 45 minute display.

Disclaimer: I’m not quite sure what had got into my friends, other than wine, obviously. Washed down with (and indeed mixed into) cheese. But still. None of them are in fact Mexican. Excuse the rowdiness. Fireworks are exciting though, hey. Ahem.

Ronald McSwoosh Thursday, September 20, 2007

I had a culinary experience while I was in Geneva last month that I’d like to share. I stopped off one evening for a Chinese takeaway with a difference. Oh yes. Chez Mike Wong. Take a look at the bag it came in (left)(it gets bigger if you click). Could they have ripped off any more brands do you think? They’ve managed to combine some upside down golden McArches with a Nike swoosh, and (apparently) get away with it! If you look closer, they’ve even managed to squeeze in a cheesy slogan steal (see right). Wow. I’m lovin’ it, indeed.

I couldn’t help doing a bit of extra research, and was slightly disappointed to learn that this was in fact a toned down version of their initial attempts at being the anti-McDonalds. They had already been taken to task and forced to rebrand themselves, after setting up the restaurant as “McWong”. One of their outlets is right next door to McDonalds, no less. So Mike is their attempt at being “almost” Mc, but not close enough to be illegal. Their original reasoning (on their website) states that “Mc” served as a synonym for fast food, and “Wong” = Asian. Right…

I didn’t find out whether their packaging had come under similar criticism, perhaps it just strengthened the case for the name change business. The bag made me smile, though, in a “plucky underdog with attitude” kind of way. I wasn’t quite as pleased when I got back to my room and discovered that they had charged me for rice-with-bits-in but just given me plain rice though, but still. I’ll forgive them this once, as they brightened my day in other ways.

On a different note, looking at the edges of the top picture, you might be able to appreciate the full horror of the scratchy carpet in my hotel room/studio thingy. It was truly dreadful.

Bourne to advertise Tuesday, September 11, 2007

OK, cheesy title, and it wasn’t that bad, I just can’t stand by and not say something about the couple of product placement clangers in the Bourne Ultimatum. Really really bad. I can handle the cars, and even the phones. And of course The Guardian. But really, am I supposed to believe that the CIA tracks suspects using a satnav system routed through Google Maps? Or that a quick Norton Antivirus scan was strictly necessary before hacking into their mainframe (or whatever it was)?

Honestly. I have come to expect better from those films. Tut.

Still good though. Although perhaps not quite on the same level as the previous two. In my view.

Oh the irony Monday, September 10, 2007

My watch has stopped. It isn’t bothering me too much at the moment, because I’m just at home and there are plenty of clocks around, but I know that I will need to get a new one soon.

Thing is, this was my first “grown up” watch. It didn’t even have batteries, but had something that meant that my wearing it kept it going (something to do with movement and light…). Very clever. Anyway, the other day I noticed it had stopped. So it having no batteries makes that a rather serious problem (since I can’t just get new ones).

Today I looked out the guarantee, only to find out that it expired almost exactly one month ago.

Lovely.

Look, no wires! Sunday, August 26, 2007

As I write this, I’m sitting in a park. This wifi business is rather good, isn’t it. (Yes I know I’m rather behind the times, but my old laptop didn’t have it.)

Downside: it’s not terribly comfortable trying to balance a warm laptop on one’s knees while either teetering on a park bench or sitting in a pile of fir cones under a tree (both of which I’ve tried in the last half hour). (Why exactly do they make laptops top heavy? Seems quite a fundamental flaw…)

Upside: I’m outdoors, breathing reasonably fresh air, and able to use the internet. All of it.

There’s no internet in my hotel, see, grr. There are a few tantalising “networks available”,  but sadly I don’t have the passwords for any of them. I have the internet in my office, but by definition, I also often have some of that pesky work stuff to do there. Also, it has filters, blocking out most of the fun parts of the internet.

Sadly, batteries don’t last forever, and they haven’t yet installed power outlets into the trees. Ah well.

Local culture? Friday, August 17, 2007

When I was flying out of Bristol airport the other week, my queueing experience turned out to be slightly different than any of the other times.

The Easyjet queue was still long and annoying, I was still worrying whether my suitcase would be too heavy, I still had a worried eye on the time, none of that had changed. However, a soundtrack of live music was playing to accompany all these airport niggles.

Just across the check-in hall, a collection of gents in scarecrow costumes were twanging and banging their various instruments. Yes, there was a Wurzels tribute band to “entertain” us while we queued.

I wonder whether this was Bristol Airport’s idea of local culture? I wondered for a moment whether this was intended to be the first impression of the West Country given to intrepid foreign visitors. But then I realised, they weren’t playing near the arrivals section, no, they were slap bang in the middle of the check-in bit. No, they seemed to be there to provide people with something to remember the West Country by once they had left. Perhaps it was a ploy to make the queues move faster?

Phew! Wednesday, August 15, 2007

I spoke too soon (thankfully). They came and cleaned (well, flicked a duster around and emptied the bin, at least) my room yesterday. Now I have clean sheets and towels, and even some more loo roll (I had started to worry I might have to pilfer from work before long!).  Hooray!

However, they seem to have taken away the teatowel, which is a bit annoying. There’s no draining board by the sink, so I don’t know how they expect me to dry anything. I had been leaving things to dry on the teatowel until now, then using it to wipe any remaining drips. Now I’ll just have to leave things draining on the (tiny) worktop until bone dry. Hmm.

On the upside, I discovered a plug, of sorts, for the sink. It’s some strange funnel-type affair, that blocks the hole so you can fill the sink, but still lets you pour things away.

All change Monday, August 13, 2007

I am still alive, in case anybody was wondering (unlikely I know)… I didn’t die of exhaustion under the table at my friend’s wedding last weekend. Instead, I am in Geneva (as in, where I used to live until recently) working.

It’s a bit strange to be back somewhere so familiar but also which has changed in subtle ways since I was properly here last (e.g. they’ve rejigged the layout of the canteen a bit, and the newsagent’s has changed hands. Fascinating I know). Also, it’s strange to be back as a non-resident. Not least because I have to stay in a hotel. The one I picked this time has the advantage of being cheaper than the last one, and (due to being actually in Geneva rather than over the border in France) gives me a free travel pass into the bargain (God bless the Geneva tourist office for that idea), saving me even more money.

Well, I say saving me money, I’ll need to sit down with some payslips and a calculator before I’m entirely convinced that I’m making any money at all on these jaunts back to the land of cheese, what with having to pay for accomodation in both the town I’m in and the town I’ve left behind. And eat.

Anyway, frugality is not all, I’ve discovered. The “slightly cheaper” hotel place I’m staying in is, let’s say, a tad grotty. My “appartement” (little studio with no room to swing any kind of household pets) seems to be slightly lacking in the cleanliness department - I discovered some serious cobwebs behind the curtains at the weekend, and was not pleased. This caused me to re-read the bit of paper I signed when booking the place, and discover that apparently I, as the “resident”, am responsible for the cleaning. Because obviously I pack my hoover when I travel. Tish. This leads me to suspect that I may not be receiving clean sheets or towels any time soon, either. Which would be fair enough, if I weren’t staying for a whole month. In the summer. Lovely. It’s all a bit peculiar.

The worst thing though. Well, the most frequently encountered annoyance, at least, is the carpet. It appears to be fashioned from a patchwork of old, slightly soiled, doormats. You know, those brown scratchy ones. It’s the same carpet all the way up the (four flights of) stairs (there’s no lift) and through the apartment. It’s really vile and I’m very glad I packed my slippers.

Still, it isn’t all bad. Being back in Geneva meant that I could spend my birthday with some friends. Also, the Geneva authorities saw fit to put on a massive firework display to mark my 28th year of life (not really, it’s the annual fêtes de Geneve, the fireworks were no less spectacular though - all 45 minutes and [alleged] 500 000 francs worth of them).